This week I did something I’ve not done in a long time.

Something that scared me, something that challenged me, something that I didn’t really fancy doing but deep down I knew I had to. This weekend I was a “DJ”.

Now, I don’t mean day-job DJing. I wasn’t the guy behind the Mic saying “Keep it locked” and “It’s a lovely day Out there” I was the DJ in the club the arm pumping, teeth gnashing, sweat patch getting, standing behind a set of decks DJ!

Ok, that may be a bit of an over sell but I did venture out onto the streets of Manchester with a bag of CDs and the job of entertaining a few hundred people by pressing play.

This wasn’t my first ever gig. But, it has been a while. The last time I stood behind the “Wheels of Steel” (it’s physically impossible for me to talk about this without using out dated DJ clichés – so deal with it) was when I was a student at De Montfort University in Leicester. Back then the task of playing a few tunes at ‘The Big Cheese’ (that was the big Saturday night party – and may well still be) or the like was simple. Stick ‘Come on Eileen’ on every now and again and you’re sorted. This job was made particularly easy by the audience. It seems students, when filled with Snake Bite and Black have the memories of goldfish, meaning you can get away with playing the same tunes over and over again. I’m sure that on more than one occasion a fresh young law student, clearly enjoying the down time, would request ‘Who Let the Dogs Out’ whilst it was still playing.

So, it was time to get back in the saddle. Time to stoke up the “Ones & Twos” (there’s another for you) and try not to empty the venue by playing Bolivian Pipe Music.

Sounds simple doesn’t it? And it is. But, it’s not until you sit down and look at your own music collection that you realise that no one, and I mean no one, else wants to hear it. If your thinking “Rubbish – I’d rock any venue with my iTunes collection” cast your mind back to your last car journey and the ensuing argument between the passengers of the car as each argues the pitch for they’re chosen CD each believing that the latest “Dramatic Goat Eclipse”* album is the greatest thing ever. One of two things can happen in this situation. 1) A compromise is found (which will no doubt be a local radio station playing a mix of music from the past 3 decades) or 2) You take it in turns, each playing 3 tracks from each album whilst the remaining passengers look on in disgust and the occasional tut. In a club I believe that either of these options are frowned upon.

I know I have dubious music taste on occasion. This has been proved to me at party’s when I have picked the music. The temptation then (all be it a subconscious one) as it is when playing to an audience is not to entertain but to prove how cool you. To play diverse, cutting edge music, that no one really wants to hear and if you tried to dance to it someone would probably call an ambulance. My CD collection is full of music like this that I will happily claim to love when secretly longing for ‘The Best of Rod Stewart’.

Having filled my brand new record bag with some Indie classics, I headed into town to ply my newly found trade. The ‘Set’ itself was fairly uneventful. I picked some CDs, I pressed play on the CD player, people shuffled they’re feet a little and bobbed they’re heads whilst waiting for the band to arrive (I was only the support… the indignity of it all). At one point I cued up the wrong song and played ‘The Divine Comedy’ instead of ‘Doves’ but no one really noticed and I resisted the temptation to mumble ‘The Buffet is Now Open’ into the Mic, or ask if anyone owns the light brown Ford Orion parked in the car park. I understand that there is a certain amount of skill in picking the right tune but any of your DJ mates who try and tell you that pressing ‘Play’ on CD playing is an art form is a damn liar!

So, with that in mind, I now class myself as a superstar DJ. Up there with the likes of Fat Boy Slim and Judge Jules…. And I’m available for weddings, birthdays and barmitzfas.

*Oh, wierd band names… that’s a good topic for another time.

Jim’s next DJ adventure is at Sound Control in Manchester for the Dyslexia Awarness Gig on April 25th along with some top live bands including Natalie Findley and more to be confirmed.

You can hear Jim on the Xfm Manchester Breakfast Show 6-10am on 97.7 FM in Manchester, on DAB and on xfm.co.uk/Manchester.